Breaking Down The Best Hair In The NHL
Last week after a little back-and-forth action between Ovechkin and Ryan Getzlaf, Ovi said that Getzlaf is probably just jealous because he doesn’t have any hair (read Nate’s blog here). While I respected the move, I thought it was a little preposterous being that Ovi doesn’t exactly have phenomenal flow himself. I mean it’s true that any hair is better than no hair, but this wasn’t necessarily his battle to fight. I’ve always been enthralled by the world of hockey hair, and now more so than ever. So I figured we’d break down a quick Top 10 Best Hair in the NHL (in the best order I could come up with, but it’s still up for debate).
10. David Pastrnak
Pasta is fresh on the scene and let me tell you this real quick; when he’s on, he’s on. But when he’s off, he is so off. What you see above here is peak Pasta. It’s beautiful. Almost perfect. But unlike a few guys you’ll see later in the list, Pastrnak doesn’t necessarily deal well with that awkward stage. But he’s young and full of potential so he deserves a spot on the list.
9. Brandon Prust
Here’s a moment where I have to sort of swallow my pride a bit. I haaaaaate Brandon Prust. One of my least favorite players in the league. But you know what? He’s got great hair. And in a world where it’s those who have great hair vs. those who don’t, I’m on the same team as Prust. So in a sense, he’s my brother and I guess I have to learn to love him at some point.
8. Matt Moulson
Matty Moulson is one of those guys who just let’s it rage and we should all be thankful for that. Feathered and lethal.
7. Henrik Zetterberg
The thing about Henrik Zetterberg is that he can pull off almost any hairstyle. He can go short, he can go with what you see him with here, or he can go long. Regardless of the length, his style is always on point. Not many people can say that. Henrik Zetterberg may have the most versatile head of hair on the planet.
6. Mathieu Perreault
Perreault has that kind of hair where it looks like he’s flying out there even if he’s just gliding. That’s how flowy it is. The way it just waves in the wind leaving a trail behind him is a thing of beauty. Kind of like the first time I heard the Beatles.
5. Michael Del Zotto
I’m sure by now you all realize how hard it was for me to not put MDZ at #1 on this list. But I had to retain some level of credibility here so we’ll push him down to #5. Regardless, this is what life is all about. Some of the silkiest lettuce we’ve seen in quite some time. It’s actually a shame that he has to cover up that beautiful head with a helmet. Safety can go kick rocks.
4. Patrick Sharp
I’ve always thought of Patrick Sharp as the George Clooney of hockey. He doesn’t have the type of hair you’re gonna see at any random rink you visit. He’s got some grown man shit. And what sucks the most is the kid Ryan Hartman looks exactly like a young Sharpie. So keep your chin up, Chicago. Your city may have shitty knees and collarbones, but at least you have amazing hockey hair.
3. Erik Karlsson
If Hockey Hair was a competition in the Olympics, Sweden would win gold every single time. It wouldn’t even be a fair fight. Sweden’s best import is impeccable flow and I can’t hate on it one bit. I’d kill for an Erik Karlsson wig. That mane puts you on a one-way trip to Poundtown.
2. Henrik Lundqvist
I mean what’s really left to say about the guy? He’s the most handsome man in the NHL and one of the best in the world. Flawless is the only word I can use here to describe him. I just wouldn’t necessarily hate it if he took his time really being cautious of that neck injury. Maybe sit out the rest of the season. I’m sure Rangers fans would agree.
1. Carrie Underwood
Hey girl.
Bonus: The Absolute Worst 5 Heads Of Hair In Hockey
5) Drew Miller
4) Jack Eichel
3) Dustin Byfuglien
2) Derek Stepan
1) Ryan Getzlaf
P.S. – Shoutout to the other resident hair expert on the BSS Network, @BarstoolChief, for helping me come up with this list. If you have any disagreements/mean things to say, send them his way. Send all your happy tweets my way to @BarstoolJordie
[Editor’s Note: Total violation not throwing in one of The All Hockey Hair Team videos. Borderline blasphemous, Jordan.]